By Lowell D. Streiker
Lowell Streiker's Encyclopedia of Humor offers ample "good fresh enjoyable" everytime you desire inspirational slices of existence, bracing quips, quotable knowledge, or a fresh dose of nonsense to counterpoint your sermons or talks.
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Lindy is moving away next week. " Wife: "You'll be sorry to see her go? " Minister: "True—but she's given me the material for a lot of great sermons! He gives a moving sermon. Long before he's finished, his congregation wants to move out of the sanctuary. CHURCH LIFE • 45 One scientist took sixteen years to discover helium. Another took thirty years to find radium. But many preachers take only ten minutes to produce tedium. Bernard Petrie, a young minister, frequently boasted in public that all the time he needed to prepare his Sunday morning sermon was the few minutes it took him to walk to the church from the parsonage next door.
66 • A N ENCYCLOPEDIA OF H u m © F ® Five-year-old Christopher Walsh excitedly reported to his parents what he had learned in Sunday School. He told the story of Adam and Eve and how Eve was created from one of Adam's ribs. A few days later he told his mother, "My side hurts. " asked little Sarah when she got home from Sunday school. " "Well, he must have been," was the reply. " A Sunday School teacher read a passage from the Old Testament Book of Jonah to her class: "And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah; and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.
Mrs. " I had just completed the baptism of Sandra Anne, the infant daughter of James and Linda Winters. Everything went smoothly. I turned to Linda and said: "I have never seen a child that was so well behaved at a christening. " Betty Patrick, a member of my congregation, said to me last Sunday, "You sure did preach a powerful sermon today, Pastor. " There was a very strict order of monks, and they had a rule that said speaking is permissible only one day a year, one monk at a time. One year, a monk stood up and said quietly, "I don't like the mashed potatoes here at all.